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    Relationships * Mindfulness * Spiritual Counseling * Dream Work

Walter and the Meaning of Life

April, 2011

Monthly Newsletter


Dr. Royce Fitts,

Spiritual Counselor, DreamWorker, Psychotherapist

Tel: 308.436.2224

In this issue:

1) Article: Walter and the Meaning of Life

2) Spiritual Counseling, DreamWork and Psychotherapy Services

3) Retreats, Workshops and Speaking Events

4) Announcing: Dream Retreat with Dr. Jeremy Taylor ( and Billie Ortiz in Loveland Colorado, April 29-May 1, 2001

For more information click here:

5) Please join the discussions, read more essays, meditations, prayers and explore additional dreams by visiting my blog. I try to post often. You may sign up for my RSS feeds to be notified of new posts. Blog:



1) Article:


and the

Meaning of Life

(part I)

D. Royce Fitts, D. Min.


I’m surprised I remember him.

It’s not like I spent a lot of time with him, probably less than two hours total. In many ways, Walter is just like the scores of some other men with whom I’ve dealt. He’s a good guy, pretty screwed up, lost in his life, and just wants to make a living, go home, chop some wood, have a beer.

But, something about Walter (not his real name) would not let me go. He looked intriguing enough. Big, very big, full beard. Unshaped, untrimmed, hid most of his face. Walter was scruffy, very scruffy. Kinda dirty, too. “Worked since I was fourteen”, he said, in his breathy, growley-can’t-breathe-very-well voice. “The longest I ever went without a job was, maybe, ten days.” He was proud of that, you could hear it in his voice. And, he was 59 years old.

Now, though, life had taken a toll, extracted a toll from Walter.

We went around the circle of men and asked each man to share, the best he could, what beliefs he held about himself. “Like, what?? What do you mean? Beliefs?” Every man said this by looks, by sighs, by words. “Yeah, beliefs. What do you believe about yourself? What beliefs do you have about you?”

It was a strange question and exercise. A hard question. Who of us could ever ask and answer a question like that?

The men, as would you and I, stumbled, fumbled and bumbled through awkward answers. Walter wanted to avoid it, too, like all of us. Then he just said it… “I don’t expect to live long…I figure I am going to die sometime soon. My brother died two years ago, my father died when he was forty-eight. I am next. I wake up in the mornings and hurt like hell, can hardly walk. My joints ache. I can’t breath. I have diabetes. I try to watch what I eat, take my meds. I got fired from my job two months ago and proud I got another one in less than a week. I figure since I knew I was going to die, all I wanted to do was to be left alone, drink my beer. Now, can’t even do that.”

That’s all. All he wanted.

‘Cause I’m a shrink, I thought I’d challenge him. No, on second thought, not because I am a shrink…I will be honest. He got me. Right in the groin of meaning. Yep. Can’t say it any clearer than that.

I wanted to challenge him, challenge his thinking, challenge his beliefs. “Is that all there is, Walter?”, I wanted to ask him…for me, for you, for us:

What if there were some changes you could make in your thinking, in your beliefs about your self, about the “script” you were given, or sold, or inherited. What if you could change your diet, change your life, just a bit, and it made you healthier, just a bit healthier? Would it be worth it to you?

It was a strange, sobering moment for me. Walter just accepted it, this script of life…this script of death. He just wanted to live and die like he knew he would, was told he would.

Something about his “fate by choice”, believing he had no choice gripped me. Still does. This, of course, flies in the face of all my spiritual, humanistic and existential belief systems. C’mon, I wanna believe we have some freedom, that, in the face of what looks like fate and stark determinism, IT does not have a lock on our souls.

It is not that I do not believe (now, be patient and follow me, please) that Walter had no choices…it is that Walter BELIEVED that he BELIEVED he had no choices. That, as they say, goes deep to the bone. And my soul could not, does not want to accept that. Because, then it becomes about me, about you, about us.

We, with all our might do not want Walter to be right. We want to believe that we have some power in this life, in this death. We fear that if we run and crash into the mirror, what we will see is a shattered and cutting illusion, a mere reflection of our psychic inventions, that life, indeed, is fixed.

Walter hooks all my old evangelistic zeal to fight off that which I fear most: We, I can’t do it, can’t be free, can’t make meaning and purpose. The fear of being trapped. Can you imagine?

Whoa, if that is true, that sucks.


Beer anyone?


Or comments? (This link will take you to my blog site. Scroll down to the end of the article to post a comment.)


(part two next month)



Spiritual Counseling, DreamWork and Psychotherapy Services:
Your Meaning of Life

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Are you missing fulfillment or direction in your life?

Are you in a mid-life crisis?


I offer seasoned spiritual counseling and dream work to assist you in the most important journey of your life.

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  1. Are you trying to create and discover your meaning of life?
  2. Are you needing to resolve life conflicts, heal from grief, divorce recovery, or wounded relationships?
  3. Are you struggling with mid-life crisis?
  4. Are you wanting to understand the meaning of dreams and use dream work and spiritual counseling to explore healing in relationships and enhance your professional fulfillment?


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